Relationships

Looks like it's time for another free post! Yay! In today's free post I want to take advantage and get rid of some stereotypes that go around almost everyone's mind...which leads to disaster.

When we're single or taken (may it be boyfriend/girlfriend or engaged) majority of people dream that marriage will be an ocean full of roses, beautiful, romantic and just this mushy gushy happy feeling thingy. It's not. I'm sorry to be so direct. I've been around many grown-up couples that have shared they're marriage experiences with me about how hard it was to construct a happy relationship. I know is hard to imagine that the cute couple you might have in mind that are so happy with each other (they get along well) may have had arguments. But the truth is that after the honeymoon (some even in the honeymoon!) we must work hard to maintain a happy marriage.

When your dating everything is so different: you only see that person for a couple of hours but you don't really spend that much time together. When you go on dates you both get pretty for each other with cologne/perfume, your best clothes, you try to have manners, and the list goes on and on. When you get mad at each other you just say,"You know what? I'm leaving bye." And that's it. Or if the argument was really like mega bad, you'll probably break you and y'all can each go on different paths. Well my friend, in marriage it's not like that. If you get mad, you have to work things out or just leave things as they are. Don't be fooled by the fact that celebrities marry, divorce, re-marry, divorce and repeat.

While Dating

I remember when I was dating my husband I was already conscious that marriage wasn't easy nor an easy task, but I definitely did not think about the details. When I started liking my husband what I liked about him was that he was serious, mature but at the same time he was funny at times. What conquered me was that he shared the same faith that I had and we both had the same objectives in life. When he told me that he liked me we started praying and later on we started dating officially. During our dating period I already had a picture in my mind, I had already set certain expectations of what our marriage would be like. I won't say that I dreamt of a Hollywood style marriage, but in a way I thought that it would be at least a little bit of a river of chocolate hehe. In my mind I thought that because we both changed a lot during our dating time that it would make it easier when we got married. A total lied to myself.

Married

Now that I'm married I've gained experience yet I know that I have a lot more to learn. You learn a lot about the person you love, the way they really are when they're home with you all the time. When you go through problems you see how they react and how they maintain the balance between their emotions and their rational side. You see their flaws. And the thing is? That's when you discover if you love them as you thought it was. They're humans, imperfect beings that make mistakes, that are going to hurt you at times, and that's when you'll be put to the test. If you love them, no matter how hurt you are, you will forgive them. No, your not going to get payback for what they did instead your going to let it go and continue giving your best to them. In return they'll do the same because both of you love each other, you want the best for each other. Your not two people anymore: when you make those vows before the Altar (or some just in court) you become one, meaning that if one hurts the other that person is hurting themselves as well. When both partners put their efforts by sacrificing things that hurt the other, molding their behavior, and let go of the selfishness they construct a happy marriage. It takes time, it takes sacrifice, it doesn't have anything to do with feelings as society makes us believe but it's decision to be happy. If we go by our emotions we're done. For example sometimes my husband makes me upset and my flesh, my ego, my heart says to ignore him to give him the silent treatment, but instead go to him and hug him even if he doesn't want me to. Later on he says I'm sorry and he's hugging me. If I hadn't hugged him first he probably would have gotten even more mad.

So relationships....expectations vs reality.

What's your opinion on relationships?

(Here's a song that goes with the topic, I urge you to listen to it and also comment on what you think about it.)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAAvPDgKf30